A Guide To The Difficult Art of Life (Whilst Making Love)

"We made love in our own way,

not calamitous, not celebratory in the end,

she didn’t relent, I didn’t fail,

my love redeemed at the altar of sex.

 

I held her close, more comfort than desire,

we both knew we’d now reached a phase -

for love is a feral cry in some throats,

and in some it survives with a gentle ache."

 

I think too much has been said of the sublimity of lovemaking and too title of it’s difficulties. The mechanics are intuitive, not the art. There are subtleties which makes the endeavour one of discovery. You can very well put your foot on the pedal and race the car away, but to drive whilst appreciating the passing scenery, to manage the bumps on the road, and to reach the destination drenched in beauty is an experience which goes beyond elemental understanding.

 

And what about the time when the body ages and desire doesn’t? Or when you age and your partner doesn’t? Lovemaking then is both a rare whiskey and a marathon. When you get there, it’s a relief first and then a celebration; if you don’t, it’s a recognition that time and tide always have their sad messages.

 

But more than anything else it is an insight into the kindness and affection of partners in love - how do they face changes of diminishing desire or sheer inability. The broader lesson is how relationships need to be open to change and find ways of resolution rather they letting issues  overwhelm them.

 

The tenacity of a relationship will be tested, time and again, in all kinds of ways - and one of the most moving testaments to it is of acceptance. When we love the soul of a man, small things are quirks, big things are quiddities, and everything is an opportunity to again find grace in the enjoined life.

 

If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems on finding grace in lovemaking:

• Such are Such Days (or the days I make love to her)
• Finding Souls Between Their Legs
• Map My Body, Lover

Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup.

Get in touch with me on uncutpoetrynow@gmail.com

Subscribe to my incandescent and poetic newsletter The Uncuts here - https://theuncuts.substack.com.

 

The details of the music used in this episode are as follows -

Music: Hopeful by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10130-hopeful
License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
Artist on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PhatSounds74

Music: You Did This by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10132-you-did-this
License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
Artist on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PhatSounds74