Adrift (on parents and lovers we survive)

They say, in actuality, there are only two kinds of people in the world - fighters and survivors. I have often thought about this grim prognosis of life, and without attributing anything dire to it, I really think it is close to truth.

 

In seeking acceptances, we often have to struggle with the true us and the version the world wants to see. Because we are first a subset of a larger expectation before we start to even begin to be our own person.

 

The corollary to this is often the complete abdication of lives. Most often to parents, soon enough to partners - husbands, lovers. We are first loved for what we are, and then are given a larger acceptance only if we confirm to their idea of us. If we waver from there, try to become something which is truly us, if we protest, we have to face consequences. It could start from emotional appeal, transcend to consequences, end in incarcerations of all kinds.

 

We often seek refuge, escapes; clutch at straws, good hearts; and find ourselves giving into patterns. One prison for another, as it were. Unconsciously we build shackles inside of us. Without realising we have become our own prisoners. Which becomes difficult to break out of.

 

There IS redemption. Alas, it comes with a high price - shame, isolation, death. Often even unconditional love is not enough, as it it riddled with complex past archetypes, windmills of the confounded mind, as it were. We are finally of ourselves, suicidally jettisoning this one wondrous life.

 

If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems talking about our relationship with parents - 

• My Mother is Full of Water and Ready for Sonography
• Mother's Rambling Lessons on Life Imparted in Morning Walks in my Childhood
• Tea-a-Tete with Mum & Dad

Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup.

Get in touch with me on uncutpoetrynow@gmail.com

 

The details of the music used in this episode are as follows -

Yesteryears (DECISION) by Sascha Ende
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/244-yesteryears-decision
License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license