Hope is Merely Fear With a Poor Choice of Lipstick

"I am exhausted with mornings

with their false pretenses and promises,

and wonder what it would take

to stop it from decorating itself with silver

and gold and light and lies,

and merely let us be the honest suicide candidates,

who see every bright start to a day

and know the hypocrisy ready to unravel

as a brilliant bright day."

 

Every morning we wake up with an array of feelings racing inside us, conflicting emotions, from fury to peace, from exhaustion to exuberance. And depending on what we focus on, our day takes on that trajectory - which merely means our life finds a direction in our daily choice.

 

We can start being a Jackson Pollock painting, splattered with every color and hue, but something inside us picks one color and runs with it. Do we celebrate life - or hunt it down to shoot it point-blank, is merely that perchance choice, of a perchance emotion. We are left to regret at leisure.

 

But what of those whose choice everyday is the same dismal refraction of life, when the shining truth of possibilities is always seen as chimera, and life seems to be a dark rabbit hole teeming with despair and cul de sacs.

 

Depression ensues, suicidal tendencies set in. All the love and support of the world needs to be called in. Because, then, lives are at stake.

 

If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of despair -

• Heartbreak
• Chemo: As I Battle Myself
• How to Hold Love as it Breaks

Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.

 

Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry. 

 

I am Sunil Bhandari.

 

I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon.

Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup.

Get in touch with me on uncutpoetrynow@gmail.com

 

The details of the music used in this episode are as follows -

Parting of the Ways - Part 2 by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4196-parting-of-the-ways---part-2
License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license